CHRISTIANITY - HUMOR




5/30/16

Classic Emails (2 pages)

The District Attorney of Bedford County Pennsylvania
is filing charges against a 14-year-old boy for what he did in the picture below.



Can you believe it - I didn't receive a single reply today ...

Is this microphone on?

UPDATE

The judge hands down the punishment


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12/12/15

People do not know what is in their own Bibles (3:30)

Here is an example which proves that the video was right on the money.
This picture was posted on the internet by a Christian attacking Islam:



Christians are constantly proving (in public)
that they have never actually opened and read ... their own holy book.


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7/22/15

Betty Bowers is affectionately known as "American's Best Christian."
It only took her 4 minutes to destroy ... "Goodwill Industries"




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5/12/15

A rich televangelist (driving the fancy car that Jesus bought him)
got careless and rolled it over ... with his wife in the car.

With so much going on in the world,
God was only able to protect one of them:

guess which one?



That God; what a guy, huh?
He protected the one bringing in all the money.

You can't say He isn't practical


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4/25/15

A brutal religious debate (7:32) between ...

Atheist Jamie Kilstein and Christian John Fugelsang

Sucked you in with the sensational title, didn't I?


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1/8/15

"Better" News Clubs

In case I get invited to be a guest speaker at a Better News Club,
I have prepared the following speech:

Ahem ... Uh ... So ...
(I put that in there because all the great speakers start out that way)
Their club tells you that you were born a worthless piece of shit,
deserving of eternal torture. Our club gives you the truth:
that you are one of the most amazing creatures to have ever existed on this planet.

Their club gives you fairy tales and tells you they are true.
We give you cool scientific facts ... which actually are  true.

At their club, you will spend spend a lot of time talking to yourself with your eyes closed,
and pretending that an invisible ghost is listening.
At our club you will close your eyes and imagine a universe
filled with all kinds of marvelous wonders.

At their club, you will be taught whom to hate.
At our club, you will be given the skills to battle the haters,
and the skills to contribute to making this world a better place.

At their club you will be taught to worship
an evil invisible monster who murders, enslaves, and tortures.
At our club you will learn how to free yourself
from the threats of their invisible monster ...

forever


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12/25/14

The Bible states

"And the wolf will dwell with the lamb,
And the leopard will lie down with the kid,
And the calf and the young lion and the fatling together;
And a little boy will lead them.
"
Isaiah 11:6 (NASB)



Okay, so we've kept our part of the prophecy ...

So where's Jesus?


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8/5/14

The contest to choose a new Christian symbol
to replace that gruesome execution device
is now over.

The runner-up was Ray Comfort's banana.

And the winner is ...

A circumcised penis

All crosses will be replaced by the new symbol as soon as possible
and may be worn, placed in public places, and included in all correspondence.

(No, I am not including a picture with this story)


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4/26/14

Pope John Paul II will soon be made a saint.
Sainthood requires two authenticated miracles.
With the help of God, and without the aid of modern medicine,
Pope John Paul healed two Parkinson’s sufferers!

(oddly, God refused to help Pope John Paul ... with his Parkinson's)


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4/25/14

There has been a lot of controversy surrounding
the claimed "miracles" of Pope John Paul 2

Finally, Pope John Paul answers his critics

Now maybe the Pope can finally rest in peace


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12/1/13

One of thee slimiest con artists in America
has finally found a way to make himself useful:
by providing nourishment for worms.



Well Paul, thanks for the photo op, but where you're goin,
I don't think you'll have much use for that finger anymore.

With the recent passing of Sylvia Browne (another classic American fraud)
it got me to wondering if that old saying were true ...
that these things often happen in threes;
and if true, whom can we anticipate, might soon join the other two?
Pat Robertson? Kevin Trudeau? Stanislaw Burzynski?

There are just so many great candidates to choose from.


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11/26/13

Starbucks has caved in to Christian pressure
and agreed to put Bible verses on its cups ...



Hey, I think I have an idea for their next cup


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11/25/13

Christians whine and complain every time an atheist billboard goes up.
They scream "religious discrimination!" in response to billboards
that do nothing more than reach out to atheists.

So now atheists have put up billboards that give Christians good reason to scream.



Nothing hurts ... like the truth


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11/21/13

My replies to God in "The Lord's Prayer"




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11/20/13

Costco put Bibles in the fiction section

Seems like they were labeled properly to me.
But I was more surprised by the price ($15).
Toilet paper is far cheaper ... and a lot more useful.


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6/28/13

Classic Emails (1 page)

Hey, Pastor Billy, from the looks of those tail feathers,
I get the impression that the bird is enjoying it ...
almost as much as you are.



(Pastor Billy Ball was also featured on podcast #242)


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6/22/13

Podcast #240 featured Ann Barnhardt and was titled
"A disturbing look into a Catholic mind"

Ann Barnhardt is a self-proclaimed virgin
(whether or not that is by choice ... she doesn't say)

When asked what she wants more than anything in the whole world,
this was her reply:




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5/19/13

Bill Maher expounding on Liberty University (4:37)




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3/6/13

The History Channel's "The Bible" (9:33)



Now that's the way a movie review should be done.


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12/8/12

It turns out that Bill O'Reilly was right ...
Christianity is not a religion - it is a philosophy.

And here to back up O'Reilly with 8 powerful pieces of evidence is Edward Current.




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11/26/12

Classic Emails (6 pages)

When all else fails ... talk to yourself.

Bill Keller at "Live Prayer.com"


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3/14/12

Fundamentalist Christians may be right about evolution:
they may not have evolved from monkeys.
Every time a natural disaster strikes,
religious leaders tell their 'flocks' that it was God,
and after 2,000 years, they still fall for it ... every single time.

Even monkeys aren't that stupid


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2/16/12

John Fugelsang on Jesus (2:23)



If you liked it, you can watch the whole show (41:35) by clicking it near the end.


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2/4/12

Bill Maher frees Ann Romney's dad from Mormon Heaven.
Which I guess means ... her dad is now in Hell (6:04)




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12/4/11

Neo meets the Black Knight (Vox Day)

When a Rationalist faces off against a Reality-Denier ...
the outcome is inevitable (2:55)



To see this massacre you can either listen to, or read, podcasts 169-173.


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3/5/11

The point is not, how mean this cartoon is;
the point is, how absolutely true it is.




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2/12/11



Who wouldn't want to worship such a great guy, right?


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8/9/10

I have a new suspect in the case of Touchdown Jesus
(the statue that burned down when struck by lightning).

After finding the following verse, I realized
that I may have jumped to the wrong conclusion when I blamed Allah.

Exodus 20:5 "... for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God ..."



This may help explain why God really sent Jesus down to be tortured on a cross.


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6/21/10

Here's proof that women can find equality in the Bible:

2 Chronicles 15:13
"That whosoever would not seek the LORD God of Israel
should be put to death, whether small or great, whether man or woman.
"


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1/26/10

Let's take a break and watch some standup with Jim Jefferies (9:52)




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